Life...

I came home this afternoon from a very touching funeral. It happend to be the lawyer Bram had to take when he lost his job years ago at the age 0f 65, his wife was singing in a choir I sang in for years and his daughter A was a former fashion design student of mine. When I read about his passing away in the newspaper I immediately felt that I had to go this afternoon, despite the fact that my student had to do a fashionshow this afternoon in the museum in Enschede. It was good to be there. I met up with 3 -also former students- who graduated 3 years ago and where in the same class as my student was.

During the memorial tales were told about this special man and his 2 daughters and wife. It made me cry with their touching stories about how they loved there father/ husband and how special he was for them. Very brave if you do that in a full room with a lot of people. For me it was special to stand inbetween my former students who have become great young women. I have had them 4 years in my classroom and I have never thought that one day we will be together at this special moment.

Guess I am having the age that more funerals will come in the future. It made me think how grateful I am that Bram and myself are still together and that I wake up every morning next to him. That we can talk and laugh...cry and be silent together.. It could have been so different if he wasn't rescued with is operation.

His health-condition is not very good at the moment and we feel it is running down a bit. Walking goes slow and he has a lack of energy... We have been to a cardiologist/ acupuncturist for a 2-nd opinion and he showed us that all is fine with his heart. He only wrote that his vegetative nervous system was out of balance which sounds reasonable after the operation he has had.Yesterday he has had a bowel examination in the hospital which shows that all is fine there.

The question now is: what to do next? Continue with acupuncture or footreflex-massage? Perhaps a Chines doctor? Within myself I notice that the fact that nothing is found till now makes me sort of insecure. I am a person who wants to do something instead of waiting.. Bram is now at a point that he wants to think about it for a while. I am not going to push him, he will come up with an idea I am sure. The fact that he looks so good also adds something to that uncertainty .. I often wonder how much ideas and thoughts are in my mind..But this all teaches me something from the important things in life (don't want to sound too heavenly..if you know what I mean..)

Tomorrow I have to wake up at 6, teach, work with students on their examn, meetings and talks. All very good to set my mind in another direction. Life has so many aspects I have found out in my life till now. Gratefull and blessed that I did meet Bram more than 28 years ago, that we are still together and that we have this great grandson which makes such a difference, that we are surrounded by good friends and family who take care of us in difficult times and that we have booked the holiday to Ireland for the coming summer (yes we have a cancellation insurance...)

I felt really that I had to write something about my life tonight...and yes.. I got this GREAT bag send by my dear friend Franzi which brings back such great memories from holidays long ago in Switzerland. Thanks so much and also for the American Lifestyle magazines. Love them and esspecially the item on Outstanding in the field Wouldn't it be great to have such a dinner in a field???